True Colors

"Empaths are built from emotional traumas,"

I guess so.

For as long as I remember, I was that person who everyone trusted their stories, confide in. From people I, myself don't trust (which one of them was still here, sharing their stories to me) to the closest friends I had.

Every time they told their stories... I always analyze them. The way they say it, what emotion did they show... The voice they use during the talk... I see through them.

At some strange points in life, I even could tell what they're thinking by just looking into their eyes... Strange, too much dreamy or cartoony you may think. But that's true. The person whom I didn't really trust as I had said earlier, was the eyewitness. We've been talking since 2016 or 2017 I don't recall. He's been an acquaintance since my kindergarten years and we've been in the same educational institution since then, and we're friends during that time of year I mentioned.

Four or even five years ago, he vented about some problems in his life. Mostly, he asked me about spiritual things. That time, he did something stupid with his friend that caused an entity to follow them around.

I do not see what others cannot see. But somehow, I 'see' them. I had these visions in my head that popped out when something requested.... I don't even know how I can explain or describe it.

At one point, he asked me about this girl he liked. Of course, we never talked about her at all. We've been talking about his other crushes, and in which he trusted me because, once again, what I said had been always proven true at some point.

He then asked me about that girl, who. Who the blasted damned abomination thing in the whole wide world is that girl.

YES! I DO NOT HAVE AN IDEA.

All it took was just a simple, uneventful and meaningless comment on his Instagram page. I had this strong gut feeling that that girl, was somehow had a connection to this guy. As I went through her insta, jackpot. The energy matched.

I knew for sure this was just a frickin' gamble because I only trust my guts and which by all means, could be false too.

BUT HE SAID YES.

AND HE TRUSTED ME TO THIS DAY.

Not only that, I always know what a person is like during our first meeting. And after a while meeting them, almost all of that 'judging' were correct.

The same goes for places, organizations, etc....

If I had a bad gut feeling, unnerving uneasiness... a breeze of strange and questionable feeling that lingers for a quite long time...Whether that place or thing is toxic, full of bad energy, or those things are just plain bad for me.

The last encounter was when I apply for a job. At first, looking at the poster, the job vacancy was pretty much dodgy. But given by its statements, the company offered a pretty damn good offer.

I knew something was wrong. But that was a really faint feeling...

I rechecked via Google about the company, and. Shitwhatnot. What popped out was a far different company.

A company with blasted notorious reviews and news.

And being the woman of revolution I am, I pushed my way in and passed the first step, administrations and interview. Easily, I made the HRD loss in words... Blame that to my amazing self, lol. OMG why am I being so damn narcissistic like my ex.

Oh, that next day of training.

That day, I met some friends that I don't remember their names anymore (except for their numbers saved on my phone). From the moment I went inside the building.... These feelings, oh, the damned unnerving feeling that took me back to a certain memory of my past, not really a bad one, but this gut told me the other way. It's a risky industry and for sure, the one I won't ever be able to forgive myself for diving my reckless arse into.

I tried to brush them off, for the sake of experience (that's all I do for),... But my energy spoke the other way around, again. She clearly doesn't want this, and embodied in one of my friend that started to rethink about joining the shady company.

and that moment of talk. I was overwhelmed with this uneasiness that drained almost all of my energy.

I snapped and decided not to take the next test. I thought, fuck this. eheheh.

and now, I don't regret that decision at all.

oh and the next thing is,

I see through lies. Goddamit I hate these.

I see through everything and I hate this.

I cannot enjoy being surprised. My fucking anxious self (that's what I call myself) alwaysssss haveee the fuckingggg urgeeee to ruin the moment by predicting.

WHAT I HATE THE MOST IS WHEN I WATCH MOVIES AND SERIES, LIKE, GOD!!!! HOW CAN I ENJOY IT!?

I was always so drained by everything around me.

And god, after these pandemic situations, the simplest of things, MEETING A SINGLE FRIEND, I consider her as a close friend (but not that much, deep inside I don't really trust and had this same energy with her, she's much IDK, darker? she's a girl of all those socialite lives), I GOT HOME SO TIRED AND MY HEAD IS DIZZY.

Like, I was physically hurt. Tired. I slept for 10 hours that night.

i mean, before, it was still a very reasonable thing for me as an ambivert, but a more introverted one (well idk, I mirror the energy I receive), I really hate being in the middle of the crowd. Many, many people bothered me (except for in concerts where we mind our own energies, and DAMN THAT WAS SO BOMB! The energy all the spectators share WAASSS SOOOO ENERGETIC AND INFECTIOUS!), that I had to rest all day after a draining one.

dammit.

oh, and yes. I mirror the energy I receive.

I know what kind of person I am talking to, what approach they might like, what they really like, I knew and I understand. If they're talkative, I mirror them (after that, I was so drained of course), and if they're not, I try to be one, and after, I become my comfort self.

and everything I see about me changed when I met Alex.

a character from Life is Strange.

Shit. I relate to her in everything.

and now I understand where all of these things are coming from.

"Empaths are built from emotional traumas,"

For the developers of Life is Strange: True Colors,

how did you know so precisely?

thank you for creating Alex, me, representing other empaths, really feel appreciated and valid.

Hi Alex! Let's be friends!